Heartslinked

January 16, 2013

Sunday

Filed under: Uncategorized — by jeannette4175 @ 7:31 pm

Saturday evening after leaving K and heading home I decided to run to Macy’s to get a few more things for this new baby.  This was Saturday evening(3 days before Christmas).  My husband had made a run earlier to a friends house and had picked up some formula she purchased from Costco for K.  My husband decided to be crazy and go to the mall.  We spent about an hour at Macy’s around 8pm.  It was a mad house to say the least but I found 5 outfits, one of them a christmas outfit, and a little bib.  I found all of that for $60, my hobby is finding good deals.  Well as we were about to check out I realized that if we came back between midnight and 6am we would get 15% off everything.  I figured a little lost sleep would be worth it to save $9. We put the items on hold.

At midnight we headed back to Macy’s. I got what we needed and we were back home about 1am.  I was going to stop by and see K in the morning before they drove the 800 miles back home with a 2 week old baby. 

I saw Kristina, her mom, and her son about 8:30 in the morning.  We sat and talked and talked and talked.  I didn’t want to say good-bye.  I was worried about K, not that I thought she wouldn’t be an amazing mom. But I knew the pressures she would continue to get from the agency,  her family, and friends.  We departed after about an hour (not long enough time to talk).

I hurried over to my nieces because I had to drop something off to them.  After this I quickly went home and got ready.   about noon we went to my husband’s dad’s side Christmas party.  We celebrate Christmas with my father-in-law’s siblings and their kids the weekend before Christmas every year.

This year was bitter sweet.  I love his family but last year everyone met Allysa for the first time.  I was worried about the questions they would ask me.  I did not want to explain, partly because I do not have answers, I do not understand.  Another part is that it brings up too many emotions, too much baggage.  My other children do not need to see the pain it causes me, they have to live it too.  We can both interpret our own pain individually. 

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