Heartslinked

November 2, 2012

Promises

Filed under: Uncategorized — by jeannette4175 @ 6:19 pm

I might have this totally wrong and if I do can somebody please correct me.  According to NCFA and any group against adoptee rights to their birth certificate it is because of promised confidentiality to their mothers.  I have never heard of a mother actually signing any paperwork in the TPR that says they will be a secret for the rest of their lives from their children.  Many of us did not know that our children would be receiving a falsified birth certificate.  We have been told that we could go to jail for contacting our children but nothing in our TPR says anything about being kept a secret from my own child and every generation after that.  There is nothing legal about separating 2 humans except for a restraining order.  I can guarantee I never had a restraining order against my daughter since birth.  It sounds ridiculous  doesn’t it?  Having a restraining order/Do Not Contact order from your own baby?

Adoption agencies make promises every day that they do not have to keep.  As long as there is not a legal document signed adoption agencies can make promises but do not have to keep them.  Let’s look at open adoptions. Everyday agencies make promises for new mothers of loss about open adoptions.  Some agencies even have a signed agreement between the adoptive couple and first parents.    Signed agreements do not hold up in court.  There is nothing an agency can do about keeping an adoption opened.  But it is what is agreed upon between the adoptive family and natural family.

I want to make sure I got this correct: some promise that might have been said to a mother is the reason adoptees cannot get their OBC, but a signed agreement of open adoption can be ignored by an adoptive family because it is not legal in court.  This is utterly nuts.  Everyone should be able to get their truthful birth certificate without asking mommy may I.  The reasonings we are given to keep adoptees from obtaining this is utterly and totally ridiculous.  When will our legislators start listening???

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3 Comments »

  1. the court surrender paperwork I received from my unsealed adoption file had no promise whatsoever for my mother – it simply detailed any and all right to me she had…

    Comment by TAO — November 2, 2012 @ 7:49 pm |Reply

  2. Apparently, there are alot of birth mothers who feel like they were promised anononymity and feel like it is infringing upon their rights for adoptee’s to know who they are. Here’s one woman’s website dedicated to just that. Womaninhiding.org
    Not saying I agree with it, just passing on information! 🙂

    Comment by Aimee — November 7, 2012 @ 6:19 pm |Reply

    • Even if they were promised to be secrecy, how can anyone legally enforse that? How can that generation have there secrecy enforced by law but open adoptions not be enforced even when there is a signed document?

      Comment by jeannette4175 — November 12, 2012 @ 8:39 pm |Reply


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