July 18, 2012

Teaching our children about rape

Filed under: Uncategorized — by jeannette4175 @ 7:45 pm

This post can be very triggering for victims of rape please proceed with caution.

My youngest (second daughter) is about to enter high school, she is the first daughter I am raising.  Parenting daughters are different then sons.  The boys are tall and strong, I talk to them differently then my youngest.  My youngest internalizes and analyzes emotions. She is teeny tiny.  She is about 5 foot and not even a hundred pounds, and I think she is done growing too.  I have talked to all of my kids since they were little about drinking, drugs, sex, and bad touching, control over their own bodies.  A few days ago I realized as my youngest is getting older and about to go into high school she needs to be more prepared.  She needs to understand rape. She needs to know that rape is NEVER the victims fault.  The statistics on sexual asault says that 1 in 4 woman will be assaulted before they turn 18.  That scares the crap out of me for my little girl. I have to give my daughter tools to herlp her in case it ever happens.

As a mom I would be a bad mother if I didn’t teach her and if I ever let her think that  rape is a victims fault.  I might not be able to put her in a plastic bubble but I can help her.  Even if nothing ever happens to her I can teach her empathy.  I can just about guarantee that one of her friends will be sexually assaulted, she will know a victim of rape and there should be no shame in that.

We talked for about an hour.  We talked about rape, sexual assault, that no means no always.  No means stop.  Rape is  not about sex but about control and violence.  I explained to her that just like if someone is walking down the street and gets beat up it does not mean they were asking for it, there skirt was not too short or they had their hair in a ponytail, or anything else like that.  We don’t blame the victim of random physical violence and we shouldn’t blame the victim of sexual assaults either.   

I wanted her to understand that she can always talk to me no matter what.  I wanted her to understand very clearly that rape is not a victims fault, It just is not.  I am sure we will talk more later, she will have questions as she grows up, but I always want her to know that she can trust me no matter what.


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