April 14, 2012

My next few pos…

Filed under: Uncategorized — by jeannette4175 @ 4:05 pm

My next few posts won’t be about adoption because I’m not dealing with adoption in my life right now, I’m dealing with death.

Saturday was so much fun we celebrated Easter with my family.  We spent all day together.  We ate, laughed, enjoyed each other’s company.  Really everyone got along so well.  After we left I thought wow we haven’t got along this well in so long.  There was no squabbles or hurt feelings overall.  My parents were in town and we got to enjoy them and tease them a bit too.  There was so much laughter that I couldn’t wait for the next get together.  In fact we planned on going to the beach the next afternoon with my family.

Sunday morning I was getting dressed and had just finished my hair and make up.  We had to leave to meet up with my in-laws for Easter brunch at 10am and it was 9:40.  I was just about ready and checking on the kids to make sure they were ready and that my boys had dark socks on with their dress pants and not white socks and sneakers.  My dad called and I thought he was wishing us a happy Easter and just telling us the time to get together for the beach.  As I answered the phone my dads voice wasn’t right.  I knew something was wrong but couldn’t figure out what it was.  Then he told me GG was probably dead.  The paramedics were working on him but from what it sounded like there was no hope.

What??? We saw him 12 hours earlier he couldn’t be dead.  Nobody at 24 years old dies in their sleep when the only medical problem they had been a tooth ache.  This couldn’t be real.  I had to be hearing it wrong.  I started crying, our GG, was dead.  He is my nieces boyfriend of 7 years.  But he was more than that, he was the person that everyone is drawn too.   He protects every woman around him.  He tries to make everyone’s life easier just by making them laugh or listen to them pour out their heart.  He was my nieces soul mate even if they did not have a piece of paper that said they were committed to each other.  The way they looked at each other was amazing.  To think that they found each other at 17, their senior year in high school, and they were inseparable.  They literally did everything together.  They worked together, went out together, and even went to the grocery store together.  I never saw my niece in the last 7 years and not see GG.  We saw each other a lot, we used to have Friday night dinner together, just my family and the two of them.  In the last year he started to truly build his relationship with his sisters, so we only saw him once a month instead of every week.  I counted GG as my nephew, he isn’t blood related and they were not married but he was a big part of our lives.

I couldn’t hold it together, not knowing GG was dead and I had to tell my kids.  I had to devastate my children’s world again.  GG was Kenny’s closest cousin.  Ken looked up to him and would tell GG all of his secrets.  Alex and Cassie weren’t as close but they adored  GG.  I knew I was about to make their world crumble.  People don’t die at 24 years old, not without a car crash, or cancer, or something like that. He hadn’t had kids yet either.  You are not supposed to die so young.  I was devastated and angry.

I tried to stop my tears and I called my kids into my room.  They knew something was really wrong. I told them GG was dead.  The looks in their eyes reflected mine, disbelief, hurt, sadness, and anger.  Each one of them just cried. My husband and I tried to comfort them and hold them but what can we really do?  Nothing was going to make them better.

We dried our tears as best we could and went to brunch with my in-laws.  We couldn’t go to my nieces house yet so I figured we might as well keep ourselves busy.  The kids could barely eat though.  I would look over and there eyes would have tears in them.  As soon as brunch was over we went to my sister’s house and waited until we got the call that we could go to my niece’s house.

My niece called within an hour and we headed over, everyone was devastated.  We could not understand how this was possible.  How could he be gone like this?  It felt like a nightmare to us.  Most of my family, about 25 of us, squeezed into my nieces house.  We stayed with my niece  for the rest of the day and grieved together.  We cried a lot of the day.  What else could we do?  It still doesn’t feel real, I keep wanting to wake up from this.  I just feel so helpless to help my niece through this.  It is so hard to understand why this happened.




  1. I am so sorry. Were they able to determine the cause of death? A local celebrity’s nephew recently died from a tooth abscess. The infection got into his blood stream and he went septic. Too young to die, so tragic…

    Comment by Real Daughter — April 14, 2012 @ 5:05 pm |Reply

    • The ME told us hours after he died that they thought that was the cause. I know they finished the autopsy on Wednesday but the death certificate hasn’t been sent yet. At this point it doesn’t matter to me why he died.

      Comment by jeannette4175 — April 14, 2012 @ 5:46 pm |Reply

  2. You’re right….it’s so so sad. Sending your family thoughts and prayers, lady.

    Comment by Real Daughter — April 14, 2012 @ 5:51 pm |Reply

    • Linda – I really do appreciate that, thank you.

      Comment by jeannette4175 — April 14, 2012 @ 9:39 pm |Reply

  3. Jeanette,

    I am so sorry. I know there are no words to take away the pain and heartache you are feeling right now but I just want you to know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!

    Comment by Cassi — April 14, 2012 @ 8:56 pm |Reply

    • Cassi – Thank you so much. Your words do help so much.

      Comment by jeannette4175 — April 14, 2012 @ 9:38 pm |Reply

  4. I am so sorry for your family’s loss. It is so hard to lose someone when they are just getting started in life. Sending much love and support your way.

    Comment by Melynda — April 14, 2012 @ 11:11 pm |Reply

  5. Jeannette, I am so, so sorry for your family, your niece and GG’s family. It is so very tragic and you are right, 24 is way to young. Just want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself xxx

    Comment by myst1998 — April 15, 2012 @ 12:48 am |Reply

  6. Jeanette, I’m so sort for your loss. Thinking of you and your family and sending lots of love.

    Comment by Laurie — April 15, 2012 @ 6:10 am |Reply

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