Heartslinked

March 6, 2012

Chaos

Filed under: Uncategorized — by jeannette4175 @ 1:19 am

I am in the aftermath of reunion.  I feel as if I am pulling the pieces of my heart and life back together.  I am dealing with my raised children’s emotions of feeling abandoned.  I have always kept my raised children’s lives very stable.  We have lived in 3 places their whole lives and the houses are within about 5 miles, we have lived in the same part of the same city all of their lives.  They only switched schools once and that was when their elementary school closed. 

The biggest change before now was when their one set of grandparents moved to Utah about 4 years ago.  They even have some of their great grandparents alive.  Change is not part of their lives.  Stability has always been part of their life. 

We first saw Allysa was moving on facebook.  She told us she would move in a month, then it changed to a few weeks, then it was in days.  From the time we saw it on facebook to her moving out was 6 days.  Chaos and instability has been our left emotions. 

Some of the things that we have had to deal with was explaining to family and friends.  Everyone saw it explode that were friends of ours on facebook.  I have tried to explain it from all of our point of views.  I have not played anyone as the villain.  I wouldn’t do that to any of my children.  But it does hurt, it hurts to feel like you are being ignored. It hurts that I tried my best but it wasn’t enough.  It hurts that both of us are so damaged by adoption.  Who would have imagined this 20 years ago?

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4 Comments »

  1. I love you! Sending Hugs!

    Comment by Princess J — March 6, 2012 @ 3:50 am |Reply

  2. I’m just so sorry!

    Adoption sucks!

    (((Hugs)))

    Comment by Cassi — March 6, 2012 @ 7:52 pm |Reply

  3. I’m so sorry for all of you. I think adoption is a soul-crusher. I hope that things improve for you, your husband, and all of your kiddos soon.

    Comment by Sara — March 7, 2012 @ 3:34 pm |Reply

  4. For me and my family I hate adoption I hate everything that goes with it. I know there are children that need to be adopted. Children that are abused and have been taken away, but their has to be a better way than how the US does it now.

    Comment by jeannette4175 — March 7, 2012 @ 5:42 pm |Reply


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